Some general humor first

"We would have believed it was an accidental shooting if he hadn't changed magazines... TWICE."
- Lord Barons

"...and grenades are also useful for digging foxholes, removing unwanted shrubbery, unclogging drains..."
- Axly's Book of Explosives for Pyromaniacs

"I did not ask for, did not receive, and will not pay for Item 21 'Tax' on your invoice..."
- Ronald Unreasonable

Scratch, scratch. "I can just barely make it out. It's in Russian. It says, This face towards enem..."
- Din the Decisive, his last words

... now a few words from Axly...

Blam. Blam. "Stop." Blam. "Police." Blam.
- Officer Axly

"Oops."
- Ex-Officer Axly

"Well, yes, I did it... but it's not my fault."
- Axly

"Alright, it is my fault... but I'm not responsible."
- Axly

"Well, maybe I'm responsible... but I'm not to blame."
- Axly

"Yes, I am to blame... but they made me do it."
- Axly

"Just because its my gun doesn't mean I'm the one who fired it."
- Axly

"OK, I fired it, but I didn't think I'd hit any civilians."
- Axly

"Well, yes, it did occur to me that I might hit one or two civilians. But I really never thought I would hit all of them."
- Axly

"I didn't want to shoot him."
- Axly

"Well... maybe I did want to shoot him, but I didn't mean to kill him."
- Axly

"OK. Maybe I did mean to kill him... but he deserved it."
- Axly

References (all published by Leading Edge Games):

Phoenix Command Small Arms Combat System
Living Steel High-Tech Adventure Game
Living Steel Supplement: KViSR ROCKS!